No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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