I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
