I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
