We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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