Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
one two three fourrrrnication!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
