If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I had to cum in my sink.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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