You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
