I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
