spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
