maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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