I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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