she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
