Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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