I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
