she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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