ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
