At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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