I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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