I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
