i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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