She announced her abortion via fbk
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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