You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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