I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
