My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
