It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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