i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
