Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
