that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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