Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
