Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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