I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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