Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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