After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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