Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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