this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
