Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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