bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
