I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
