he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
