so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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