Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
try to milk me bitch
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