marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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