Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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