Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
