carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
