I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I skipped work to stalk him.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
