I cannot find my penis.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
