I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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