I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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