I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize