He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
