I am puke
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
