just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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