Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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