Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize
