how can u be prego again
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
