I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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