My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
