dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
