Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize