So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm getting married
To pizza
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
