With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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