I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
